It’s a man’s world

They say it’s a man’s world out there but it is no hidden truth either that in that world there is every man for themselves. I don’t believe we have the right to judge anyone, all we can do is to share our experience. This, however, is just the voice in my head. Everyone portrays the man to be a glorious thing. I don’t know about the women though as I don’t know the voices inside their heads. They are warriors inside the voices of my head but this story is not about that but is about how hard it is to be in man’s world.

Everyone asks me why I don’t get married all the time nowadays. Everyone asks me why I work from home and why I don’t earn much. They ask me that since my dad is getting older, why does he have to work now and why can’t I take the responsibility. This is all the pressure that I take on a daily basis and it is messing me up. I know what they are saying is right but I don’t know how to achieve that work. I have tried doing jobs, five of them and they don’t pay well. Jobs don’t pay well anymore anywhere I guess. I started my own company, I work tirelessly day and night. I work while the world sleeps, I work when my eyes are closing and I feel good about it because it is my responsibility. The issues come when all my efforts are not enough. I don’t know who came up with this two kids are the best idea, such an asshole was them. I don’t have a brother, I have to take up the responsibility of my family all alone. My dad is an engineer and has worked really well in his career and even today he is earning big sum which means the expenses of our family are heavy, how can I fill that gap now? How, tell me the way, there isn’t anyway. It took him years to get to this level and well we have a lot, lot but no property, no nothing where there can come any relief from. No one understands that, all they want is me to take the responsibility but how can I do that and they are pushing me to either change my job or do whatever but earn big sum.

This is a place where I feel bad about being a man you know? Women in our society have the option to stay home and not work at all which I respect a lot actually but women too wants to work and I don’t how and why they feel like doing a job is a better thing because for me it certainly isn’t. Its hard work that impresses no one. If a man today don’t let his wife do the job, he is usually considered as a narrow mind person, but if I don’t earn big money or even work from home no one will have the broad mind to accept it. Where do a man have to go to survive? I mean yeah there are people who understands, true and if today I was having a girl in my life I would have known where things are heading. Back when I was in relationship, I didn’t have to worry about these things because she was a brilliant person and all I get from her was inspiration because my issues are just sentences while her’s were essays and she stood stronger and I used to feel relaxed because I know I can always bank on such a partner but life isn’t easy, we don’t always get what we want.

 It is really tough world out there and I know I will find a way because I have faith in God and he will always give me direction but right now I am in stress. I don’t like to hear these things on daily basis, they are now getting to me and breaking my spirit and instead of working hard, I feel like giving up because no one actually cares about my efforts. They say u work hard but not earn enough, I don’t think so that is a scale to measure anything. I want to take responsibility, I want to get married like everyone in time but I am scared. I can’t take the responsibility now and until I do no one will be willing to be my partner and that brings me back to answering the questions again and again.