We Are At The Point By Aleena F. Khalid

As I am sitting on the window sill, staring at the sky outside, watching the birds fly, some with probably food in their mouths while some remain empty but they are still flying, still searching despite the setting sun. They have faith and not irrational thoughts and fears that the sky would fall upon them or for a moment, they will stop flying or they will have to return empty-handed to their nest, to their kids, whose eyes are filled with hope. But, that doesn't happen, the sky doesn't fall upon them, they do not stop flying and the hope in their eyes does not die. As the sun sets and the birds go home to warmth, I can hear my mother on the phone with one of her friends. She's telling her friend to have faith. Have hope. That everything happens for the best. When God takes something, when God takes someone, when He doesn't give you what you want, what you asked for, then He's planning to give you something much better than what you asked for. He's planning to give you the whole universe while you only wish for a star, and right now, you might say but I do not want the universe, I only want the star. But, when God gives you the universe, with all its suns and moons and stars, you will know that this was what you needed and wanted all along. So, have faith, good days are coming. These are my mother's words and as I look out the window and the twilight sky, I realize that her words are mine. She is speaking my language and I speak hers. I am her and she is me, but while telling people to have faith, giving people hope and light in the darkest pits might be both of ours mutual quality, I find a huge difference between us. It is what makes the sky, the sky and it is what makes the earth, the earth. It makes all the difference in the world. When she gives people hope, she also has hope when the need arises, however when I give people hope, I do not possess it when I need it the most. Her faith is like that of a mountain, whatever storms crash upon it, her faith remains majestic and firm. My faith is like that of a balloon. It lives as long as I am careful with it but as soon as some force arrives, it bursts. I lose it. In a span of a finger snap, I lose my faith. I wonder that is this is what we call originality? Or is this what we call hypocrisy? I think about all the times I advised loved ones to have faith, and stay positive. I told them that it is okay to break down as long as we rise in the ocean of our tears and not drown. So, for the first time in forever, I take my own advice and I break down, right there on the window sill with my mother just near me, and the creatures of the night watching me. I break down and let the emotions flow and I let my faith lose. I scream and let loose. As my mother comes near me, I can feel myself becoming calm, and as she hugs me, I can feel the heart-stopping its destruction. When the tears finish and I feel numb, that is when I clench my heart and I free it. I free it so it can beat again. I free it so it can breathe again. Feeling my mother's warmth against me, I start building myself again. I start pulling myself up from the pieces of me soul. As my mother soothes me, I think about the God who loves me seventy times more than this woman beside me, I think about the God who gave me the ability to give people hope so I can be given hope. And, just like that, I can feel my faith again. I realize that I never lost my faith. None of us ever lose our faith. We just cannot locate it in ourselves some days, some years. It is always in us, we just forget to believe, some days and some years. Faith is in us. We are made of faith. So, if we did not have faith in us, what would be the point of this all? What would be the point of everything and anything?